a beautiful season.

can you picture, for a moment, a young girl. she’s dressed in a simple cotton white dress, that blows gently in a breeze like a soft cloud. she’s twirling, spinning, giggling amongst a million colors and shapes and sizes of wildflowers. sun shining, bright blue sky, horizon spreading out forever.

not a care in the world. just enjoying the beauty of her creator's gift.

so, i had a thought today.
i woke up this morning and ate a huge bowl of cheerios. about 5 minutes later, mom said, "hey, do you want to go for a run with me?" without hesitation i said, "yeah ok... i guess it's about time". my goodness - if i had gone by myself i think i would have stopped after about 100 m because i was tired already. but i kept going, mostly because i didn't want to be shown up by my mother too much. but after i stopped and she kept going, i started thinking about how similar this was to my weekend.
i had a really good time with one of my best friends this weekend - we laughed, talked and prayed together... she even cried on my shoulder. but we did it together. she said, "hey andrea, do you want to pray with me?", to which my response was similar to "yeah ok... i guess it's about time".
it's amazing to me how much farther we can travel, learn, and even think when there's someone beside us who's been there, who has done the training, and is encouraging you along. they know that you're limited because you haven't done this in a long time, but they're willing to go a bit slower so you can come along too. they're leading by example, and you can tell that they've done the work to get to where they are. you can see in them the fitness that they've attained, and even without them saying anything about it, it gives you incentive to finish the goal. to work harder. to get to where they are. i think that's why testimony is so powerful. it speaks to your own life without meaning to - you get to put the pieces together yourself instead of someone else doing it for you.
and those cheerios - man, i was regretting eating them really soon into our jog. it's not that they're bad for me, but for what i was doing, they were the wrong thing to put into my system. so as i look to eat healthy, shouldn't i be looking to feed my mind with healthy things? there are so many shows on tv, songs on the radio, magazines on the stand that aren't outrightly BAD for me... but for what i'm doing, they're not really helping me; they might just be holding me back.

castles in the sand

so lately i've been hearing a lot about plans.

plans about love.
the first time he said, "i love you"...
the time he said, "will you marry me?"...
the time she said, "we're pregnant"...
the time she said, "what should we do for our 25th anniversary?"...

plans about jobs.
the time he decided which path to follow.
the time she discovered how much she loved her work.
the time he realized his work had become a part of his identity, and probably couldn't ever let it go.

plans about the future.
the time she got her first student loan.
the time they bought a house.
the time they bought life insurance.

now, i'm feeling a little left out.
my plans aren't really set... and it's a little nerve-wracking.
i don't really know what i'm going to do with my life.
i have no idea where i'll be in a year.
i don't know where my life is going.
i am pretty sure that i'll graduate in may at least...

a really wise woman told me a few days ago:
follow God with all your heart right now... and when it's right, He'll show you the rest.
at least, that's my paraphrase.

i was talking to my grandma, and she was telling me about what happened a little while ago at one of my grandpa's worksites. they've been building a really big barn for quite some time, and one day, a big gust of wind swept up.
it leveled the barn like it was a pile of toothpicks.
not too long after, another barn they had finished fell down too.
this really showed me that we can make all the plans in the world... but just when we think it's in our hands, God shows us that it's not. He's still in control...

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. (Jeremiah 29)

the plans HE has... not me.

nameste!
well friends, my trip is coming to a close.
i leave in three days! this is crazy!
i've seen so much, thought so much, learned SO MUCH... and i'm still looking for more.
the longer i'm here, the more i want to travel and see more.
the more i learn at the hospital, the more i want to finish this dream of becoming a doctor and work in a third world country.
the more i read my bible and pray, the more i want to know and experience...
there's so much to say, and i don't know how i can say it all, but here goes.
this week i learned a lot about humility.
this volunteer experience has been difficult for me, mostly because i don't feel like i'm volunteering. i feel like i'm only taking from people - taking knowledge and time and friendship, and the only thing i can give back is a smile and questions. i've been encouraged by more than one person, then, to use my opportunities to talk to others about Christ. so i've been praying a lot, because the whole idea scares me a lot... and i realized something.
i could plan and think and write out what i want to say to people; beautiful, eloquent words that move them to believe in Jesus... or it could fail. i could give money to the beggars or buy them food and give them a kind smile on the street... and tomorrow, what would it change? i could give away all the money in the world...
and without God's work in it and through it, they are just dirty rags.
what's going through my mind is a casting crowns song... "it's amazing to know you don't need me".
it's also a very humbling thought!
here i am, sitting in nepal. i came to volunteer... i'm willing to talk to others about Jesus... i'm doing good things, right?! but honestly, i'm not the point of it all. God is... and while it takes me down a notch to think that i'm inconsequential compared to the bigger picture. i heard an analogy once that i really appreciated. all we can see is the back of the tapestry that God is weaving. it's knotted and the colors are crazy and it seems like complete chaos. nothing beautiful at all... just a mess. but when you can flip it over once it's finished... the masterpiece is breathtaking.
so isn't that the point of it all?
point to the maker who is weaving all of our stories into an amazing piece of artwork that amplifies anything we could ever say or do?
God is good.
ps... i'm hopefully going to church tomorrow. this should be awesome!
i can't wait to catch up with everyone... it seems like a lot of people have some awesome things to share :)
miss you all!

hello friends :) so i here i sit, at the brink of my last big trip in nepal.
this weekend we're going to pokhara, the next largest city from kathmandu. it's about 8 hours away, and so i have a verrrrry long ride ahead of me... i don't think i'll be riding on the roof this time! i'm going with melissa, marion and charley - perhaps more if we can convince them to come! i think it will be pretty relaxing - there is a lake by the city, a world peace pagoda (aka giant buddha) and lots of hiking and biking opportunities. apparantly you can usually see gorgeous views of the mountains.. if it's not monsoon season! so that part is a little bit sad; we're missing a lot of the scenery because the grey clouds are covering it all!
this week i've had a lot of quiet time. melissa and i have had a lot of good talks, but she's rediscovered her iPod :) so i've had a lot of time to think and read and ponder a lot of things. i have time to be a little more descriptive, so i'd like to take a stab at explaining a day in nepal.
so i'm not really sure what time everyone gets up... by i often wake up around 5 (for the first time, then go back to sleep) and i can hear a number of people outside my window - children talking, the swish of water as a woman handwashes her clothes, horns honking in the distance. i usually go back to sleep until 7 or 7:30, and once maya sees us up, she brings us tea in our room. i imagine that they think we sleep in really late! if i get up a bit earlier, i can smell incense coming down the hall when i open the door to go to the bathroom. this is because tikki is praying in her room - chanting and spinning a prayer wheel - i think that's what it's called; it's on a stick and it spins round and round. we have breakfast around 8:30 or 9 - dahl batt. i can't remember if i've explained this or not... it's rice with lentil soup and curried vegetables. sometimes there's this little seed in it that tastes like soap :S we usually get served much more than we need... i've had to throw away my food more than once because i really couldn't fit anymore in!
we usually head off to work around 9:30. it takes us twenty minutes to walk to the stupa hospital. we first head off down the little side street that we live on - it's full of tiny little shops in shacks that sell snacks. offer phone services, or sell meat that is covered in flies... doesn't usually smell too pretty! within 2 minutes we've hit the main road that we follow to the hospital. if it hasn't rained in a while, the dust is swirling between the masses of vehicles driving by - tuk-tuks, taxis, minibuses and motorcycles. if it has rained, we dodge the puddles as we walk down the uneven brick sidewalk. lately the garbage situation has been better - i think the garbage men were on strike for a while - but in the past we have walked past piles upon piles of garbage - i'm thankful for my labcoat at this point so i can breath through it and not smell fermentation! we pass a lot of different people on the road - almost all of them shorter than me. if i see someone at eye level, it really takes me off guard! there are buddhist monks, women in tsaris, teenagers in american clothes, and beggars wearing any random sort of mixture. there is actually one beggar that follows us every day - one day he walked right past and then came SPRINTING after us to tug on our clothes and murmer something in nepali. i have no idea what he's saying and i usually ignore him. however, i am feeling very uncomfortable with the whole thing. i don't know how to respond to those less fortunate around me. so many people tell me that you're compounding the problem by giving them money - they become dependent on tourists and some of them are just scamming you. but do you just ignore someone's need when it's right in your face?
when we get to the hospital, we go to the ER and put our stuff away in one of the little cubbyholes that hold various papers and other doctor's belongings. i don't usually take valuables to work because it's so open. the ER consists of two open rooms with four beds and one dressing room that has a curtain around it. if other privacy is needed, there are portable dividers to put up around the beds. there are always two doctors in there, and some of them are a lot friendlier than others! lately the doctors have been striking because of some unrest - apparantly someone died in surgery and the family wants to sue pretty much. so now all the doctors are on strike, and only the ER is open. i watched 3 people be turned away today because the ER at stupa hospital wasn't equipped to deal with their injuries. so we spend our time between watching small things in ER, asking the doctors questions about patients, looking at patient files in the general ward, and random aimless wandering. sometimes one of the doctors takes us to a patient, tells us the symptoms, and goes through how to diagnose what the problem is. that is actually really helpful - i'm learning a lot - but he has a thick accent that is hard to understand at times. today we saw something different - two of the head doctors met with abuot 30-40 women from the community and surrounding villages, whom they call "friends" of the hospital. they are volunteers that want to make a difference in the health situation around them. they pass on general health information that they learn from the doctors once a month, and then teach their friends and neighbors. it seems to be a pretty good idea - especially when people can be so ignorant about basic health practices. gastroenteritis is extremely common here - vomiting, diarrhea, etc., and the common nepali thought is that drinking water will make it worse! they don't understand that by drinking oral rehydration salts, they can be cured really fast.
we usually leave work at 4; however lately we've been taking off earlier because there is nothing going on. when we get home, we have tea and biscuits and hang out in our room until we eat supper aroun 8:30. so we talk, learn nepali, hand wash laundry, play with the little girl who lives upstairs... sleep... it's not very intense :) kind of nice to take a breather and relax! supper is dahl batt (usually)... again. i get reallllllllllly excited when we have something else... which has happened 4 times i think in 3 weeks. roomies, i hope you don't want to eat rice next semester at all!
i think that about sums it up. this is turning into a really long post, hope it was interesting! :)

NAMESTE!! so it's been a while since my last post and i hear people are getting worried.
i did not die on my bungee jump.
i did not fall off the mountain.
i did not get eaten by a crocodile.
things are great!
this weekend we went on a SAFARI - yeah pretty cool i know! we rode elephants and saw rhinos and warthogs and deer... ok nothing i haven't seen before in a zoo but these were wild! plus the whole riding elephant thing was amazing. THEN we got to bathe the elephants - which meant riding one into the river and falling off as it fell on it's side! so we got drenched and sprayed and may have swallowed some river water, but it was so much fun! i even got to climb up it's trunk by grabbing its ears as it lifted it's trunk (did you know they have more than 40 000 muscles in their trunk?). later that day we went on a canoe ride and "saw" crocodiles (aka everyone saw them but me), wild birds and monkeys, and we ended up at the elephant breeding center. it was kind of sad there - they chain up all the elephants so they can train them, and some of them seemed kind of angry (they were making a lot of noise and pacing a lot). but the babies were ADORABLE - mom, can i bring one home? it'll fit in our backyard.... :) we stayed at the jungle lagoon resort - a place way out of the way, but very pretty and peaceful. we had really good food and had a lot of fun getting to know each other - 16 projects abroad volunteers came along. it was SO HOT though, but each day we got wet so it was ok. OH i forgot to say - on our way we stopped at the side of the river and went white water rafting! that was soooo much fun - i got to sit in the front and see all of the huge waves before anyone else! :) good weekend!
ok so my placement is getting better some days. when we're busy, it's good. i've been learning a lot more - i think i'm getting better at deciphering the bad nepali accents as the doctors ask us questions and explain things to us in muddled english. also, my stomach seems to be getting stronger - i've been able to watch a few more procedures, including a biopsy without feeling faint! yeah for me :D the biopsy was a little scary though - the patient was a 16-year old girl who had a lump in her breast. the doctor told me though that it was benign... but i just can't imagine going through that at 16.
so what else can i say? i've been writing in my journal daily and have never written so much. to tell you all everything would take more time than i have, and it still wouldn't be enough. maybe i'll write a memoir or something when i get back... or you can just grill me about everything you want to know :) i'm learning a lot about medicine, people in general, myself, and especially God. my devotions are hard to do sometimes, but i'm actually learning a lot about devotion from tiki - my host. the other day she walked around the stupa (temple) for over three hours and got blisters on her feet - it's a buddhist practice to pray in that fashion. i admire her commitment to her faith. it's been interesting also to talk to some people here about faith - the first time my heart started to pound and i started praying immediately that God would give me the words He wanted me to speak. the second time i didn't feel the fear and things were more natural. so PLEASE keep praying that i can be a witness through my actions as well as my words! i only have two weeks left... it's so strange that i'm halfway done! i definitely have a lot that i still want to accomplish here.
so two days ago, we were driving to the resort and we got lost. it turned into this HUGE ordeal and finally we got picked up by a local truck that the resort rented to pick up all 16 of us. we were hot, wet from rafting, hungry and tired. the road was dusty, bumpy and full of potholes. the people were riding rickety old bikes or walking along the side of the road. most people were carring something - either in their arms or in baskets on their back that are supported by a strap that goes around their forehead. all i could think of was how happy i was that i'm not nepali. it was such a strong reaction that i was really surprised - and realized how materialistic i am. i love my soft bed and air conditioning and a car to drive whenever i want. it's given me a lot to think about.
i'd love to expound more on that thought - i have so much i want to say, but i have to get going.
i miss you all a lot - it will be so good to see everyone again in two weeks.
andrea

hi everyone! so i am back in thamel - which is the tourist section of kathmandu, and all of the volunteers come back to meet for the weekend. i've been in bouda (i think that's how you spell it) since tuesday afternoon, and living with my host family! tikki lama is the single woman we live with, and i have no idea how old she is, but if i had to guess i would say 60s or 70s. her cousin maya lives with her too, and maya thankfully speaks a little bit of english (aji, which means sister and tikki's nickname, knows no english). so that has been an adventure - melissa and i have been trying to learn nepali from my little phrase book - best 5 dollars i ever spent! if we didn't have that there would be a lot of silence. instead they laugh at our attempts to speak their language, and they are learning some english as well. so far i've learned about 10 nepali words, some phrases and numbers 1-10 :) it's kind of fun actually - i can even pick some up when we're at work (ok not much, mostly like "yes" and "no"). work has been interesting - i feel kind of useless because we're mostly just job shadowing and discussing what's going on with each patient with the doctors. however, this is a new placement and so not many of the doctors knew we were going to be there... so we have to kind of just make our own way! i've seen some interesting things - large facial tumors that you would never see in the west, COPD (which is like chronic asthma and emphysema), a lot of gastroenteritis, and this poor little girl with absesses all over her head. she looked like she had these huge zits everywhere (poor thing was about 2 or 3) because her head wasn't washed enough. so we watched the doctor poke the biggest one on her forehead and squish a TON of pus and blood out... sorry for those who don't like this... and i started to get really hot. really hot turned into really queasy so i decided to go sit down... i started blacking out and almost missed the chair i was trying to sit on... :( i nicely had about 15 witnesses all staring at me as i was trying to recover on a bench in the waiting room! a nurse came out and told me to start taking blood pressure, and it was nice to have the distraction! anyways, i'm a little freaked out about this whole becoming a doctor thing if i can't handle blood :( when i got home that night, it all really hit me - the differences, the noise, the pollution, the smell, tikki chanting her buddhist prayers, the nausea in my stomach, and really the whole experience in the ER... and well, i got a little emotional. i'm thinking about seeing this placement out for a week, and if things don't really get better, i might ask for a different placement. i really do feel quite useless, especially since this is supposed to be volunteer WORK... i just don't know what to do. advice, anyone?
on a happier note, i'm hopefully bungee jumping tomorrow! yeah! which reminds me, i need to go confirm that with the travel agent. i'll write more again!
miss you all :)

hi everyone!
so i'm stuck in thamel, still. it's the tourist section of kathmandu.
i'm learning patience!
there is still a taxi strike here, and i don't know if it will end unless gas prices come down, because really, that's what is what's causing all of this.
melissa and i are the only volunteers left here, except for one other girl we just met who is stuck here because of the strike as well, although she's been to here placement already. we're starting to feel a little spoiled while we're here at the hotel - projects abroad is paying for our placement here, and so we just go down to the hotel when we want to eat and can order some western(ish) food if we want - which is really nice in the morning. i'm not sure how my stomach will handle dahl batt every morning - rice with curried vegetables, if i ever get out there that is! if not, melissa and i will go shopping again. everything is pretty cheap here, and she tells me i need to work on my bartering skills!
we're also hoping to go on a safari, if the strike ever ends anytime soon. it's a few hours away and we can ride elephants, bathe the elephants, go hiking in the jungle and learn some cultural things in the national park closeby. if the monsoon doesn't hit too badly, we'd really like to go white water rafting too! haha but i think the longer we wait, the less chance we'll be able to go on these because it's hard to travel in the monsoon, not to mention that the rivers will be crazy! i read that they raise 10x in monsoon season. so that will be a fun thing to jump towards on my bungee jump - which is a 160 m fall! yeahhhhhh i am excited!
so what else can i tell you? i think so many thoughts in a day that it's hard to remember them all. i really like being here - the culture is SO different from what i'm used to - i'm pretty sure the culture shock will really hit me when i get home. i know that this is really giving me the travel bug, and i know i won't be disappointed if i don't get into med school right away. i really want to see more of this great earth!
well, i'm going to go check if we can leave soon. hope you're all doing well - i'm starting to miss you guys! wish you were here.... :D

HI EVERYONE!
well, i am finally here.
after about 33 hours, i finally landed! it wouldn't have been so bad, i think, if i would have been able to spend some of the 9 hours i had in england outside of the airport... :( what ended up happening was that i had a ticket to london and then a ticket to nepal, so i had to pick up my bags and recheck them... and i couldn't recheck them for a really, really long time. sooooo i read... i wrote in my journal... i watched people... i watched people some more... i started wandering, pulled a brady/elise escapade and had to go through security again... yeah. on the plane trips i couldn't sleep and watched a lot of movies! woot... well anyways, i landed here and was picked up by some men from the hotel excelsior - the hotel where all the volunteers stay at before their placement, and on the weekends as well. the drive was crazy - apparantly there was a strike that ended that day - all the buses and taxis because they're raising prices and the price of fuel is really high too. so there we were, bumping over pot holes, swerving around the masses of people and motorbikes in the middle of the road... i think if i were driving, i would hit 5 people in the first ten minutes! they honk the horn and it doesn't even phase anyone. the weather here isn't too bad - it's quite sticky but since it's monsoon season the sun isn't very bright. i've only had a little taste of the monsoon, and it wasn't that bad, just rained for about 10 minutes. the sights are something else - all the buildings are as close as can be, and don't look like they are of very high quality. it's pretty dirty i would say - a lot of dust everywhere and garbage on the side of the streets, which are either paved or stone. so when i got to the hotel, melissa was there and so i had supper with her and rachel, from the uk. the food is going to take some getting used to! lots of curry... not my favorite... i wasn't feeling so hot afterwards! hopefully i just get used to it soon, otherwise it's going to be a long month! we went out to a pub afterward to hang out with some volunteers, but i was pretty tired and had a very good sleep in my hotel room :)
so that was yesterday... today i went to durbur square, which is a LOT of temples and religious stuff. i didn't catch everything our tour guide told us - but we did see the living goddess and got harassed by many men trying to sell us little trinkets. we were looking at one temple and realized that all the carvings were very erotic - i forget the name for it, but apparantly at one time the population of nepal was very low and not every man had a wife, so the king made this temple to popularize enjoying all the facts of life :) it's interesting also, that nepal is kind of where buddhism and hinduism collide, and it was very interesting to watch how these people worship, and why they do the things they do. the tour guide really stressed how people here are very willing to spend their money to honor their gods, and i thought about how tight fisted i can be sometimes when it comes to giving offerings back home. i think there's something to the devotion they show.
so on our walk back we did some shopping - i tried to barter and it did NOT work :S however, it will be hard to stop shopping - there are so many beautiful things here! also - exciting - i booked a trip to go bungee jumping on saturday with my new friend rachel! i'm very excited to do this :D i'll let you all know how it goes. i just found out that i can finally go through my orientation here.
please keep praying - and let me know how i can lift you up in prayer as well.

today is a big day.
it's one week before the big trip... and i'm going to take the MCAT today!
i'm very excited to get this milestone over and done with so i can get on with planning for nepal. i haven't even thought about it too much because all i've been doing is STUDYING.
for the first time ever, i stopped studying two hours before the test just to pray, relax and calm down before i start the biggest test of my life... and it's working. i've asked a lot of people to pray for me at this time as well... and i appreciate it so much. i think it has to do with a common theme in my life right now - trust.
i'm trusting that God has this all in His hands.
i'm trusting that He'll give me clarity, and the memories of everything i've been studying.
i'm trusting that He will bring good out of this, whether I like my final score or not.
i'm trusting that no matter what happens in the next few weeks, He has my life in His hands - the hands that have guided me and protected me thus far through my adventures here, there and everywhere.
so why worry?