so lately i've been hearing a lot about plans.
plans about love.
the first time he said, "i love you"...
the time he said, "will you marry me?"...
the time she said, "we're pregnant"...
the time she said, "what should we do for our 25th anniversary?"...
plans about jobs.
the time he decided which path to follow.
the time she discovered how much she loved her work.
the time he realized his work had become a part of his identity, and probably couldn't ever let it go.
plans about the future.
the time she got her first student loan.
the time they bought a house.
the time they bought life insurance.
now, i'm feeling a little left out.
my plans aren't really set... and it's a little nerve-wracking.
i don't really know what i'm going to do with my life.
i have no idea where i'll be in a year.
i don't know where my life is going.
i am pretty sure that i'll graduate in may at least...
a really wise woman told me a few days ago:
follow God with all your heart right now... and when it's right, He'll show you the rest.
at least, that's my paraphrase.
i was talking to my grandma, and she was telling me about what happened a little while ago at one of my grandpa's worksites. they've been building a really big barn for quite some time, and one day, a big gust of wind swept up.
it leveled the barn like it was a pile of toothpicks.
not too long after, another barn they had finished fell down too.
this really showed me that we can make all the plans in the world... but just when we think it's in our hands, God shows us that it's not. He's still in control...
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. (Jeremiah 29)
the plans HE has... not me.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
nameste!
well friends, my trip is coming to a close.
i leave in three days! this is crazy!
i've seen so much, thought so much, learned SO MUCH... and i'm still looking for more.
the longer i'm here, the more i want to travel and see more.
the more i learn at the hospital, the more i want to finish this dream of becoming a doctor and work in a third world country.
the more i read my bible and pray, the more i want to know and experience...
there's so much to say, and i don't know how i can say it all, but here goes.
this week i learned a lot about humility.
this volunteer experience has been difficult for me, mostly because i don't feel like i'm volunteering. i feel like i'm only taking from people - taking knowledge and time and friendship, and the only thing i can give back is a smile and questions. i've been encouraged by more than one person, then, to use my opportunities to talk to others about Christ. so i've been praying a lot, because the whole idea scares me a lot... and i realized something.
i could plan and think and write out what i want to say to people; beautiful, eloquent words that move them to believe in Jesus... or it could fail. i could give money to the beggars or buy them food and give them a kind smile on the street... and tomorrow, what would it change? i could give away all the money in the world...
and without God's work in it and through it, they are just dirty rags.
what's going through my mind is a casting crowns song... "it's amazing to know you don't need me".
it's also a very humbling thought!
here i am, sitting in nepal. i came to volunteer... i'm willing to talk to others about Jesus... i'm doing good things, right?! but honestly, i'm not the point of it all. God is... and while it takes me down a notch to think that i'm inconsequential compared to the bigger picture. i heard an analogy once that i really appreciated. all we can see is the back of the tapestry that God is weaving. it's knotted and the colors are crazy and it seems like complete chaos. nothing beautiful at all... just a mess. but when you can flip it over once it's finished... the masterpiece is breathtaking.
so isn't that the point of it all?
point to the maker who is weaving all of our stories into an amazing piece of artwork that amplifies anything we could ever say or do?
God is good.
ps... i'm hopefully going to church tomorrow. this should be awesome!
i can't wait to catch up with everyone... it seems like a lot of people have some awesome things to share :)
miss you all!
well friends, my trip is coming to a close.
i leave in three days! this is crazy!
i've seen so much, thought so much, learned SO MUCH... and i'm still looking for more.
the longer i'm here, the more i want to travel and see more.
the more i learn at the hospital, the more i want to finish this dream of becoming a doctor and work in a third world country.
the more i read my bible and pray, the more i want to know and experience...
there's so much to say, and i don't know how i can say it all, but here goes.
this week i learned a lot about humility.
this volunteer experience has been difficult for me, mostly because i don't feel like i'm volunteering. i feel like i'm only taking from people - taking knowledge and time and friendship, and the only thing i can give back is a smile and questions. i've been encouraged by more than one person, then, to use my opportunities to talk to others about Christ. so i've been praying a lot, because the whole idea scares me a lot... and i realized something.
i could plan and think and write out what i want to say to people; beautiful, eloquent words that move them to believe in Jesus... or it could fail. i could give money to the beggars or buy them food and give them a kind smile on the street... and tomorrow, what would it change? i could give away all the money in the world...
and without God's work in it and through it, they are just dirty rags.
what's going through my mind is a casting crowns song... "it's amazing to know you don't need me".
it's also a very humbling thought!
here i am, sitting in nepal. i came to volunteer... i'm willing to talk to others about Jesus... i'm doing good things, right?! but honestly, i'm not the point of it all. God is... and while it takes me down a notch to think that i'm inconsequential compared to the bigger picture. i heard an analogy once that i really appreciated. all we can see is the back of the tapestry that God is weaving. it's knotted and the colors are crazy and it seems like complete chaos. nothing beautiful at all... just a mess. but when you can flip it over once it's finished... the masterpiece is breathtaking.
so isn't that the point of it all?
point to the maker who is weaving all of our stories into an amazing piece of artwork that amplifies anything we could ever say or do?
God is good.
ps... i'm hopefully going to church tomorrow. this should be awesome!
i can't wait to catch up with everyone... it seems like a lot of people have some awesome things to share :)
miss you all!
Friday, July 11, 2008
hello friends :) so i here i sit, at the brink of my last big trip in nepal.
this weekend we're going to pokhara, the next largest city from kathmandu. it's about 8 hours away, and so i have a verrrrry long ride ahead of me... i don't think i'll be riding on the roof this time! i'm going with melissa, marion and charley - perhaps more if we can convince them to come! i think it will be pretty relaxing - there is a lake by the city, a world peace pagoda (aka giant buddha) and lots of hiking and biking opportunities. apparantly you can usually see gorgeous views of the mountains.. if it's not monsoon season! so that part is a little bit sad; we're missing a lot of the scenery because the grey clouds are covering it all!
this week i've had a lot of quiet time. melissa and i have had a lot of good talks, but she's rediscovered her iPod :) so i've had a lot of time to think and read and ponder a lot of things. i have time to be a little more descriptive, so i'd like to take a stab at explaining a day in nepal.
so i'm not really sure what time everyone gets up... by i often wake up around 5 (for the first time, then go back to sleep) and i can hear a number of people outside my window - children talking, the swish of water as a woman handwashes her clothes, horns honking in the distance. i usually go back to sleep until 7 or 7:30, and once maya sees us up, she brings us tea in our room. i imagine that they think we sleep in really late! if i get up a bit earlier, i can smell incense coming down the hall when i open the door to go to the bathroom. this is because tikki is praying in her room - chanting and spinning a prayer wheel - i think that's what it's called; it's on a stick and it spins round and round. we have breakfast around 8:30 or 9 - dahl batt. i can't remember if i've explained this or not... it's rice with lentil soup and curried vegetables. sometimes there's this little seed in it that tastes like soap :S we usually get served much more than we need... i've had to throw away my food more than once because i really couldn't fit anymore in!
we usually head off to work around 9:30. it takes us twenty minutes to walk to the stupa hospital. we first head off down the little side street that we live on - it's full of tiny little shops in shacks that sell snacks. offer phone services, or sell meat that is covered in flies... doesn't usually smell too pretty! within 2 minutes we've hit the main road that we follow to the hospital. if it hasn't rained in a while, the dust is swirling between the masses of vehicles driving by - tuk-tuks, taxis, minibuses and motorcycles. if it has rained, we dodge the puddles as we walk down the uneven brick sidewalk. lately the garbage situation has been better - i think the garbage men were on strike for a while - but in the past we have walked past piles upon piles of garbage - i'm thankful for my labcoat at this point so i can breath through it and not smell fermentation! we pass a lot of different people on the road - almost all of them shorter than me. if i see someone at eye level, it really takes me off guard! there are buddhist monks, women in tsaris, teenagers in american clothes, and beggars wearing any random sort of mixture. there is actually one beggar that follows us every day - one day he walked right past and then came SPRINTING after us to tug on our clothes and murmer something in nepali. i have no idea what he's saying and i usually ignore him. however, i am feeling very uncomfortable with the whole thing. i don't know how to respond to those less fortunate around me. so many people tell me that you're compounding the problem by giving them money - they become dependent on tourists and some of them are just scamming you. but do you just ignore someone's need when it's right in your face?
when we get to the hospital, we go to the ER and put our stuff away in one of the little cubbyholes that hold various papers and other doctor's belongings. i don't usually take valuables to work because it's so open. the ER consists of two open rooms with four beds and one dressing room that has a curtain around it. if other privacy is needed, there are portable dividers to put up around the beds. there are always two doctors in there, and some of them are a lot friendlier than others! lately the doctors have been striking because of some unrest - apparantly someone died in surgery and the family wants to sue pretty much. so now all the doctors are on strike, and only the ER is open. i watched 3 people be turned away today because the ER at stupa hospital wasn't equipped to deal with their injuries. so we spend our time between watching small things in ER, asking the doctors questions about patients, looking at patient files in the general ward, and random aimless wandering. sometimes one of the doctors takes us to a patient, tells us the symptoms, and goes through how to diagnose what the problem is. that is actually really helpful - i'm learning a lot - but he has a thick accent that is hard to understand at times. today we saw something different - two of the head doctors met with abuot 30-40 women from the community and surrounding villages, whom they call "friends" of the hospital. they are volunteers that want to make a difference in the health situation around them. they pass on general health information that they learn from the doctors once a month, and then teach their friends and neighbors. it seems to be a pretty good idea - especially when people can be so ignorant about basic health practices. gastroenteritis is extremely common here - vomiting, diarrhea, etc., and the common nepali thought is that drinking water will make it worse! they don't understand that by drinking oral rehydration salts, they can be cured really fast.
we usually leave work at 4; however lately we've been taking off earlier because there is nothing going on. when we get home, we have tea and biscuits and hang out in our room until we eat supper aroun 8:30. so we talk, learn nepali, hand wash laundry, play with the little girl who lives upstairs... sleep... it's not very intense :) kind of nice to take a breather and relax! supper is dahl batt (usually)... again. i get reallllllllllly excited when we have something else... which has happened 4 times i think in 3 weeks. roomies, i hope you don't want to eat rice next semester at all!
i think that about sums it up. this is turning into a really long post, hope it was interesting! :)
this weekend we're going to pokhara, the next largest city from kathmandu. it's about 8 hours away, and so i have a verrrrry long ride ahead of me... i don't think i'll be riding on the roof this time! i'm going with melissa, marion and charley - perhaps more if we can convince them to come! i think it will be pretty relaxing - there is a lake by the city, a world peace pagoda (aka giant buddha) and lots of hiking and biking opportunities. apparantly you can usually see gorgeous views of the mountains.. if it's not monsoon season! so that part is a little bit sad; we're missing a lot of the scenery because the grey clouds are covering it all!
this week i've had a lot of quiet time. melissa and i have had a lot of good talks, but she's rediscovered her iPod :) so i've had a lot of time to think and read and ponder a lot of things. i have time to be a little more descriptive, so i'd like to take a stab at explaining a day in nepal.
so i'm not really sure what time everyone gets up... by i often wake up around 5 (for the first time, then go back to sleep) and i can hear a number of people outside my window - children talking, the swish of water as a woman handwashes her clothes, horns honking in the distance. i usually go back to sleep until 7 or 7:30, and once maya sees us up, she brings us tea in our room. i imagine that they think we sleep in really late! if i get up a bit earlier, i can smell incense coming down the hall when i open the door to go to the bathroom. this is because tikki is praying in her room - chanting and spinning a prayer wheel - i think that's what it's called; it's on a stick and it spins round and round. we have breakfast around 8:30 or 9 - dahl batt. i can't remember if i've explained this or not... it's rice with lentil soup and curried vegetables. sometimes there's this little seed in it that tastes like soap :S we usually get served much more than we need... i've had to throw away my food more than once because i really couldn't fit anymore in!
we usually head off to work around 9:30. it takes us twenty minutes to walk to the stupa hospital. we first head off down the little side street that we live on - it's full of tiny little shops in shacks that sell snacks. offer phone services, or sell meat that is covered in flies... doesn't usually smell too pretty! within 2 minutes we've hit the main road that we follow to the hospital. if it hasn't rained in a while, the dust is swirling between the masses of vehicles driving by - tuk-tuks, taxis, minibuses and motorcycles. if it has rained, we dodge the puddles as we walk down the uneven brick sidewalk. lately the garbage situation has been better - i think the garbage men were on strike for a while - but in the past we have walked past piles upon piles of garbage - i'm thankful for my labcoat at this point so i can breath through it and not smell fermentation! we pass a lot of different people on the road - almost all of them shorter than me. if i see someone at eye level, it really takes me off guard! there are buddhist monks, women in tsaris, teenagers in american clothes, and beggars wearing any random sort of mixture. there is actually one beggar that follows us every day - one day he walked right past and then came SPRINTING after us to tug on our clothes and murmer something in nepali. i have no idea what he's saying and i usually ignore him. however, i am feeling very uncomfortable with the whole thing. i don't know how to respond to those less fortunate around me. so many people tell me that you're compounding the problem by giving them money - they become dependent on tourists and some of them are just scamming you. but do you just ignore someone's need when it's right in your face?
when we get to the hospital, we go to the ER and put our stuff away in one of the little cubbyholes that hold various papers and other doctor's belongings. i don't usually take valuables to work because it's so open. the ER consists of two open rooms with four beds and one dressing room that has a curtain around it. if other privacy is needed, there are portable dividers to put up around the beds. there are always two doctors in there, and some of them are a lot friendlier than others! lately the doctors have been striking because of some unrest - apparantly someone died in surgery and the family wants to sue pretty much. so now all the doctors are on strike, and only the ER is open. i watched 3 people be turned away today because the ER at stupa hospital wasn't equipped to deal with their injuries. so we spend our time between watching small things in ER, asking the doctors questions about patients, looking at patient files in the general ward, and random aimless wandering. sometimes one of the doctors takes us to a patient, tells us the symptoms, and goes through how to diagnose what the problem is. that is actually really helpful - i'm learning a lot - but he has a thick accent that is hard to understand at times. today we saw something different - two of the head doctors met with abuot 30-40 women from the community and surrounding villages, whom they call "friends" of the hospital. they are volunteers that want to make a difference in the health situation around them. they pass on general health information that they learn from the doctors once a month, and then teach their friends and neighbors. it seems to be a pretty good idea - especially when people can be so ignorant about basic health practices. gastroenteritis is extremely common here - vomiting, diarrhea, etc., and the common nepali thought is that drinking water will make it worse! they don't understand that by drinking oral rehydration salts, they can be cured really fast.
we usually leave work at 4; however lately we've been taking off earlier because there is nothing going on. when we get home, we have tea and biscuits and hang out in our room until we eat supper aroun 8:30. so we talk, learn nepali, hand wash laundry, play with the little girl who lives upstairs... sleep... it's not very intense :) kind of nice to take a breather and relax! supper is dahl batt (usually)... again. i get reallllllllllly excited when we have something else... which has happened 4 times i think in 3 weeks. roomies, i hope you don't want to eat rice next semester at all!
i think that about sums it up. this is turning into a really long post, hope it was interesting! :)
Monday, July 7, 2008
NAMESTE!! so it's been a while since my last post and i hear people are getting worried.
i did not die on my bungee jump.
i did not fall off the mountain.
i did not get eaten by a crocodile.
things are great!
this weekend we went on a SAFARI - yeah pretty cool i know! we rode elephants and saw rhinos and warthogs and deer... ok nothing i haven't seen before in a zoo but these were wild! plus the whole riding elephant thing was amazing. THEN we got to bathe the elephants - which meant riding one into the river and falling off as it fell on it's side! so we got drenched and sprayed and may have swallowed some river water, but it was so much fun! i even got to climb up it's trunk by grabbing its ears as it lifted it's trunk (did you know they have more than 40 000 muscles in their trunk?). later that day we went on a canoe ride and "saw" crocodiles (aka everyone saw them but me), wild birds and monkeys, and we ended up at the elephant breeding center. it was kind of sad there - they chain up all the elephants so they can train them, and some of them seemed kind of angry (they were making a lot of noise and pacing a lot). but the babies were ADORABLE - mom, can i bring one home? it'll fit in our backyard.... :) we stayed at the jungle lagoon resort - a place way out of the way, but very pretty and peaceful. we had really good food and had a lot of fun getting to know each other - 16 projects abroad volunteers came along. it was SO HOT though, but each day we got wet so it was ok. OH i forgot to say - on our way we stopped at the side of the river and went white water rafting! that was soooo much fun - i got to sit in the front and see all of the huge waves before anyone else! :) good weekend!
ok so my placement is getting better some days. when we're busy, it's good. i've been learning a lot more - i think i'm getting better at deciphering the bad nepali accents as the doctors ask us questions and explain things to us in muddled english. also, my stomach seems to be getting stronger - i've been able to watch a few more procedures, including a biopsy without feeling faint! yeah for me :D the biopsy was a little scary though - the patient was a 16-year old girl who had a lump in her breast. the doctor told me though that it was benign... but i just can't imagine going through that at 16.
so what else can i say? i've been writing in my journal daily and have never written so much. to tell you all everything would take more time than i have, and it still wouldn't be enough. maybe i'll write a memoir or something when i get back... or you can just grill me about everything you want to know :) i'm learning a lot about medicine, people in general, myself, and especially God. my devotions are hard to do sometimes, but i'm actually learning a lot about devotion from tiki - my host. the other day she walked around the stupa (temple) for over three hours and got blisters on her feet - it's a buddhist practice to pray in that fashion. i admire her commitment to her faith. it's been interesting also to talk to some people here about faith - the first time my heart started to pound and i started praying immediately that God would give me the words He wanted me to speak. the second time i didn't feel the fear and things were more natural. so PLEASE keep praying that i can be a witness through my actions as well as my words! i only have two weeks left... it's so strange that i'm halfway done! i definitely have a lot that i still want to accomplish here.
so two days ago, we were driving to the resort and we got lost. it turned into this HUGE ordeal and finally we got picked up by a local truck that the resort rented to pick up all 16 of us. we were hot, wet from rafting, hungry and tired. the road was dusty, bumpy and full of potholes. the people were riding rickety old bikes or walking along the side of the road. most people were carring something - either in their arms or in baskets on their back that are supported by a strap that goes around their forehead. all i could think of was how happy i was that i'm not nepali. it was such a strong reaction that i was really surprised - and realized how materialistic i am. i love my soft bed and air conditioning and a car to drive whenever i want. it's given me a lot to think about.
i'd love to expound more on that thought - i have so much i want to say, but i have to get going.
i miss you all a lot - it will be so good to see everyone again in two weeks.
andrea
i did not die on my bungee jump.
i did not fall off the mountain.
i did not get eaten by a crocodile.
things are great!
this weekend we went on a SAFARI - yeah pretty cool i know! we rode elephants and saw rhinos and warthogs and deer... ok nothing i haven't seen before in a zoo but these were wild! plus the whole riding elephant thing was amazing. THEN we got to bathe the elephants - which meant riding one into the river and falling off as it fell on it's side! so we got drenched and sprayed and may have swallowed some river water, but it was so much fun! i even got to climb up it's trunk by grabbing its ears as it lifted it's trunk (did you know they have more than 40 000 muscles in their trunk?). later that day we went on a canoe ride and "saw" crocodiles (aka everyone saw them but me), wild birds and monkeys, and we ended up at the elephant breeding center. it was kind of sad there - they chain up all the elephants so they can train them, and some of them seemed kind of angry (they were making a lot of noise and pacing a lot). but the babies were ADORABLE - mom, can i bring one home? it'll fit in our backyard.... :) we stayed at the jungle lagoon resort - a place way out of the way, but very pretty and peaceful. we had really good food and had a lot of fun getting to know each other - 16 projects abroad volunteers came along. it was SO HOT though, but each day we got wet so it was ok. OH i forgot to say - on our way we stopped at the side of the river and went white water rafting! that was soooo much fun - i got to sit in the front and see all of the huge waves before anyone else! :) good weekend!
ok so my placement is getting better some days. when we're busy, it's good. i've been learning a lot more - i think i'm getting better at deciphering the bad nepali accents as the doctors ask us questions and explain things to us in muddled english. also, my stomach seems to be getting stronger - i've been able to watch a few more procedures, including a biopsy without feeling faint! yeah for me :D the biopsy was a little scary though - the patient was a 16-year old girl who had a lump in her breast. the doctor told me though that it was benign... but i just can't imagine going through that at 16.
so what else can i say? i've been writing in my journal daily and have never written so much. to tell you all everything would take more time than i have, and it still wouldn't be enough. maybe i'll write a memoir or something when i get back... or you can just grill me about everything you want to know :) i'm learning a lot about medicine, people in general, myself, and especially God. my devotions are hard to do sometimes, but i'm actually learning a lot about devotion from tiki - my host. the other day she walked around the stupa (temple) for over three hours and got blisters on her feet - it's a buddhist practice to pray in that fashion. i admire her commitment to her faith. it's been interesting also to talk to some people here about faith - the first time my heart started to pound and i started praying immediately that God would give me the words He wanted me to speak. the second time i didn't feel the fear and things were more natural. so PLEASE keep praying that i can be a witness through my actions as well as my words! i only have two weeks left... it's so strange that i'm halfway done! i definitely have a lot that i still want to accomplish here.
so two days ago, we were driving to the resort and we got lost. it turned into this HUGE ordeal and finally we got picked up by a local truck that the resort rented to pick up all 16 of us. we were hot, wet from rafting, hungry and tired. the road was dusty, bumpy and full of potholes. the people were riding rickety old bikes or walking along the side of the road. most people were carring something - either in their arms or in baskets on their back that are supported by a strap that goes around their forehead. all i could think of was how happy i was that i'm not nepali. it was such a strong reaction that i was really surprised - and realized how materialistic i am. i love my soft bed and air conditioning and a car to drive whenever i want. it's given me a lot to think about.
i'd love to expound more on that thought - i have so much i want to say, but i have to get going.
i miss you all a lot - it will be so good to see everyone again in two weeks.
andrea
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)